The Positive of My Job as a Graphic Designer

Hello everyone,
Well it's Monday and I'm sitting at a cafe enjoying my Matcha donut and Latte (This is becoming more of a routine now). I'm about to head to work, where Mondays seem to be my haven after the busy weekends at the tearoom. As I start writing my morning pages, I'm always surprised with the though of how fortunate and blessed I am. I do what I love and I earn money doing it. It takes the stress out of a part of my life at least, that's something that I never want to take for granted.

At my non-profit I help inspiring young artist and talents grow in real time productions. I know that plenty of them look to this blog for inspiration and advice, which I'm happy that this blog has evolved from a hobby to something that has helped others. I've come a long way and I really want to share the things that I've learned. So aspiring Designers and those just breaking into this field, here's a little look at the highlights of my daily grind and why I find it so rewarding.

I bridge the gap where there is a need: I think one of the things that blows me away is the places I can take a business with something as simple as a cleaned up logo, or a flyer. Think about how often you look at a screen through the day, then think about how often you look at paper. Almost always have these things been graced by a designer, they are like a suit to the business and they help 'dress' the company. It's a good feeling to help give businesses that access.

I'm constantly inspired by being challenged: When I started working for Tea Rose Garden, I was so frustrated with how much needed to be done. It was a growing pain for me to take everything that I felt was new and necessary to finding that compromise that soon reflected the shop the way that the owner always wished it to be. In the end what it taught me was to be a better listener to my clients. I study seasonal flowers to vector into their newsletters, I know the shapes of fine boned china brands, and I keep on trend with wedding designs. These inspire and reflect my decisions and how I go about designing things for the shop.

I work with other artists, which is a great community: If you haven't noticed yet, artists are weird. We have our own strange ticks that only other artist seem to understand sometimes. This doesn't always seem to apply every client, but as for my main client I work with a floral team whic is constantly designing flowers and special events. We understand and respect each others strange ticks, but at the same time we have a strong understanding to be honest and critique. I think that more than anything, this is one of the best things about my job. It adds a sense of freedom and value to my work and skills.

Granted, like any job there are the definite ups and downs. I get just as upset and frustrated as I do in any other job that I've held. But at the end of the day, there is this underlining gratefulness that I'm doing something that I know I've worked hard to be skilled at. I hope that this post helps inspire.

Happy Monday, Cheers!

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Thirteen Special (and not so) Things About Me!

Design Board 2012 for Website Ideas

Hi everyone,

I've seen these on a few blogs and I thought that it would be fun to throw out a few random things about myself. You never know what you'll find and the strange little things that you might have in common. Here's 13 things for the year of 2013.

1. I'm addicted to modern art: I wasn't always. It didn't start until my second year into my first major of Art History in college before I switched it to Graphic Design.  My first exhibit was Andy Warhol in MOCA where I got to learn about the man behind the art and the life they led. Keeping this in mind I was pulled more and more into understanding the modern artist and they had walked the streets that I had.  Now as a Graphic Designer AIPOD get tickled pink when I see modern art. I feel like I'm sharing in a community that I'm now apart of.

2. I collect British things: For those of you that have been keeping up with my blog, I'm sure that you've notice that I have a fascination with the UK. After I had completed my first anthology of British Literature I was in love with British culture. I still am today. I started my collection with Union Jack flags and my collection has moved on to imported teas and books. I still would love it if I could get a PG Tips plushie monkey as well as a mug... A little dream in my wish list!

3. My favorite color is charcoal grey... But maroon is running up...: with the attire I wear people often assume that my favorite color must be neons of rainbows. Surprise! I am absolutely in love with the color charcoal grey because it goes with everything. It's a chameleon of a color so it sways with any mood I please. Maroon is coming in close to second because of my Scion and the color of my cabinets. I think that maroon celebrates how sexy a woman is from red wine to maroon deep lipstick...

4. Roots irk me...: There! I said it! Being that hair is one of my choice of fashion statement it drives me nuts when I see monster roots on anyone. I have been known to walk out of stores and public places if someone has roots that I must look at the most of the time that I'm there. Nothing past 2 inches of growth, Please!

5. I'm a over achiever in a lazy persons body.: I spent plenty of time in my office and I have made it a point to build my library with a comfy love seat and now a reading chair. It's so easy to slip away in there and lose track of time with a good pot of tea. I often find it difficult to pry away from it to do whatever next big project that's in front of me. Then I find myself cramming. Not a great look on me, but a common one.

6. I'm in love with my car.: Oh yes, my little Maroon Scion XB has been a light in my life. I get sensitive when other people drive my car poorly.  Nothing puts me in a good mood right away than boosting high my fancy stereo in my car and going for a cruise. That car is a testimony that anything is possible if you work for it. Pantomime (the name of my car) found me when I needed him. I think my favorite accessory in my car is a ribbon tied to the front mirror with the quote "It's kind of fun doing the impossible"-Walt Disney. I can't step out out of that car without feeling like a Badass Rockstar Goddess!

7. I'm a Grammar Hippie: Never heard of one? I made it up. Before you get your panties in a twist I don't think that grammar is unimportant. Infact, if you're really good at grammar I absolutely commend you! But for the rest of us, it's not a forte that I try to learn everyday. I believe that rules are made to be broken, and this goes for language. Take it from Shakespeare; we wouldn't have the word 'Alligator' otherwise. Poets and Lyricist push this everyday understanding the rules of language, and most Novelist I've met are terrible with grammar.

8. I'm bad at ending conversations: What can I say? I love conversations. Nothing gives me a greater pleasure than long topics and understanding what makes a person unique from their interests and opinions. Don't make me call it an end though, I always find it hard to let people go because I'm an asker. 

9. I'm a crazy good cook: Yes. I wear this badge loud and proud! I'm a self taught cook that loved the discovery of cusine through many broken sauces, flattened souffles, and listening. As a division of Cordon Bleu is a city away from me I've had a handful of friends of mine have me help them 'study' as they passed as Master Chefs from this magical place, in turn learning myself. I wish I could cook more, but most of my pots and cookware were damaged in the move to the house I'm currently living in. One thing I miss the most is my beautiful bunt pan so I can make my Hawaiian Pound Cake and Pretty Sponge Cakes for Tea...
 

10. I get a high in the middle of reading a good book.: But seriously, what book lover doesn't? Books shape my life, get me to think, and help me see a world that is bigger than my own. If you're a serious dreamer, then reading is on your list of things to do! I just finished the Goddess Guide and I was able to travel and aspire to new sights, see a vintage fashion auction, and chill momentarily with Miss Piggy... Ah... Which leads me to a dream of mine...
 

11. I dream of travel.: Ever since I had my magical two weeks in Rosarito, Mexico, I've had the hunger to go out there and experience new cultures. I long for the Literary and Theatre heritage of London, the rampant Graphic Design of Barcelona, and the hidden secrets of Ancient Venice to name a few. Lately I've been curious about Timbuktu with the deterioration of ancient cilivlization artifacts and the understanding that is a once great world waiting to be discovered and share they're knowledge.
  

12. I code like a boss!: Most Graphic Designers I know are scared to bits of coding. There's this stigma that you'll become some techie jerk that cares nothing about numbers rather than design. To my surprise when I tapped into Dreamweaver and mild CSS coding I fell in love with it! It made me feel more mobile as a Designer. I hope this year to get really good at Actionscripting and crazy good with my CSS. Most of my paid freelance work is designing websites, and nothing makes me happier knowing that I can take a companies dreams to the limit. I'm the bridge between their visions and the world. 
 

13. I want to be a legacy of stories.: From Illustrating, Playwright, and Novel writing; I want to tell stories and capture the imagination of the world. I want to be like Howard Pyle and never stop discovering. This would be the wish for what my life to be. I have a talent and I want to give it to a broken world that needs to dream and aspire. Whatever I find myself doing in the future, I hope that this will be one thing that stands true.
 

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Tunnels End

Evening everyone,
Something beautiful happened last night. While writing my post last night reviewing several things that happened through my year, a little spark resounded in my heart. That little spark got bigger and bigger with every word I typed, every picture that I archived, every memory and feeling that resurfaced about 2012. After three hours of work at 3am as I layed my head down to finally sleep I realized that this was the first time in several months I actually stayed up to do something. I wanted it done, I had to see the ending. This morning I realized; that little spark was my old self thats been waiting for myself this whole time.

If you read the post or have been following my blog for sometime you know that I've been in a funk for sometime now. I have not been anything that I used to be; rather, I've been almost a lesser person than I was. I just had no real enthusiasm for things, my creativity was slipping, and my energy was cut by less than half. This year was brutal on me with all my completing things and growing up. I was honestly about to believe that I would never be that multi-tasking, energized, positive young lady again. That was until now...

The post really had me see everything right in front of me, where I had gone, and most importantly all of the emotions that had shaped my decisions and reaction to things. I was an ambitious newly grad ready to take the world on, but the world threw me a fast one and it was nothing that I had read or imagined. Did I fail? No. Was it my fault? Some of it yes, but it all turned out for the better.

I was astonished at the change even physically I went through. I never discussed it, but through my depression starting on about April I had dropped 30 lbs this year from eating like a bird. Anything with oil or salt would send me into gagging fits. I couldn't sleep at night from shaking with no food in me, but I couldn't eat. The Doctor diagnosed it as a form of nervosa that was similar to my condition many years before when I moved for the first time. I suffered until about August, when I started to go out more.

Right now my body is just flabby. It feels strange, I don't really mind whatever weight I am, but my skin has gone through hell and back. I have little bubbly bumps under my skin around my arms and my belly which have never been there, but I'm getting used to it. I now live in moisturizing heaven 24/7 taking care of my thinned skin un-stretched and flabby as they often feel sore. The darker stretch marks are the worst, they inflame depending on the weather. My unintentional weight-loss has not been glamorous.

 

I'm actually very shy about my body, not only because of my weight but because of the abuse I've put it through over the years. When I'm on the job I'm in the public's eye and its a constant battle with myself to push my confidence in my knowledge and leadership before my insecurities. I try not to dwell in it that much, because there's so much to live for other than insecurities. I realize now that this is a time of discover for me, to bring who I am now and what I was before together in harmony marking my lessons of life learned for this time.

This morning I was inspired, a very enthused inspired! I had proven that I CAN push myself again and my mind is capable of intense concentration. This was no fluke or stroke of luck; this was what I had forgotten. I decided to mark this epiphany I pulled out my Nikon and did self-portraits. Last time I did self-portraits was in 2009, I got my first degree and moved to a new house, things were changing then as well.

I call this series Tunnels End because I feel like I finally see the light at the end! I love the shadows that had cast on my bedroom wall in a way to represent time and the filtering of light before me. The light reflections on my hanging pictures also show images of the world outside. I was comfortable to be in my own skin today, and most importantly in my own mind. I never want to lose sight of this feeling and I don't want to call this another 'fling'. I've missed me for too long to let it.

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Thoughts: A Raging Hurt Fatty

Be warned: 

This is a rant with grown up language (yes, profanity). If my personal life doesn't interest you please skip this post.

I'm not one to talk about my issues with people, but this has been the very bane of my existence as of lately that I'm tired of looking like I've got it all together and I'm not affected by these actions. I've grown a supportive and fairly descent following from not only strangers that share my interest, but family and friends as well: I think that lying to you that I am ok would be the wrong thing to do.

So this month is NOTHING as I expected: things that I thought could be finished in a week may well drag into the New Year, everyday has felt like a wild card, and this season has become the month of global PMS. Seriously? Being the fat chick in public automatically makes me an easy target, but the things that come out of peoples mouth's these days be it stranger or friends is simply repulsive.  I don't even want to recount the reckless nonsense that people's motives have been.

FOR THE RECORD: I find that fat people, especially women, do their best just to break their stereotypes everyday. We've not lazy, we are not glutinous pigs, and we are not all about the easy way out. If you ask me after being in category and culture of 'fat', we are the toughest most honest of people. On top of the criticism and society pressures: we go out of our way to be who we are just so we can continue a satisfying life beyond what's expected of us. I've been fat for a majority of my life and I've found true love, been a leader, and done things that I never thought I could. I've been featured on television, been a produced playwright FOUR TIMES AND COUNTING, guest spoke in one of the largest convention centers in the world... you guessed it, FAT! I'm not about to stop my life just because of the way I look displeases people.  I'm more than that, and I guarentee you that other fat people you see are so much more than there appearance.

Don't get me wrong, this post has nothing to do with denying a healthy lifestyle. This is about that time of the year when people get insecure about just about anything as the year closes and they are brought with a new year that will come with more opportunity and regrets. It's easy to feel down, pressured to be something else. Many, unfortunately, don't know how to handle these changes. Whether you do or don't, everyone is feeling the pressure of change upon them, and the best thing to do is be honest with yourself and understand where you stand about it.

For me, I'm scared. I feel like I'm not ready for the responsibilities that have been trusted on me. I'm stressed, cooped up, and hard up; believe me the blatant bullying has not made me a happy camper. Today I snapped, I cried, and I'm upset. I'm sure that I'll be pretty upset about all of this incessive harassment and behavior until the beginning of the next year when things usually die down. Hence why my mood is seeping into my blog; the beautiful album of my growing life that I can share with the world. I want this post to tell everyone that it's absolutely fine to be mad;  just let it go responsibly. Letting go has a lot to do with letting people around you know how you feel.

For those 'people': Come at me about my weight, money, or my relationship if you must but here's the truth about it: You're too fucking scared to deal with your own problems. I am starting to lose faith in you and the rest of the world because of this very reason. I may not call you out in person, or look like I didn't notice what you meant by 'it' but I'm just too nice and mature to stoop to your level. I'm just as stressed as you are, and my willingness to tell you about these things or my rare chances to go out are my few releases from my issues. Don't go ruining it for me, or try to be greedy and take that little bit of happiness out of my day. Don't try to piggy back on my efforts either as I busted my back working for these things that I treasure and made myself the person I am today. I'm nice, but every nice person has a limit. If your offended by this post I'm happy: Come and chat with me about it!

Wow, you made it through the whole thing. Thank you for listening, I meant it.

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