Feathery Free OOTD:

This Monday it seems that I actually got up early for a change. I think it was the fact that it was a little breezy and cool in the morning. I won't complain considering that a majority of L.A. summer's are blazing hot and make you incredibly groggy. The cooler the weather, the more clothing options. I was able to get a chance to wear my pretty feather shirt. ^^

You might remember this shirt with one of my previous hauls. It's super comfy since I the back is made of stretch jersey. Though, the neck line does occasionally ride up; I think thats because of the combination of different fabrics. In any case, I love the way that it moves with me. It's perfect for the breezy beach weather around here. I work close to the beach (which explains the traffic I go through in the mornings.) It's a great perk to have when you want to de-stress and find a place to stroll after a long day.

Blouse: Lane Bryant

Skirt: Lane Bryant

Sandals: Payless

Triskle Necklace: art shop in Santa Monica

I love how the colors match my newly dyed hair.  Lots of faded flowey colors. I even wore my triskle necklace to continue with the theme. I don't think I've ever shown you guys my engagement ring either, well viola! Here it is... Eugene designed it himself, even down to picking the diamond from Italy.

 I think I figured out how to get through Monday's. Well, at least a little something... dress comfortably and pace yourself. And if your curious, I bring plenty of loose tea from home to brew through the day to keep me moving.
 

0

OOTD: Business Redux

 

Hi everyone,
I hope that you're having a wonderful weekend. As we creep into the second month of this year I'm wondering if things will ever slow down. I had just finished taking care of some very important business for my non-profit today and I can't wait to share it with you. One of the great thing at about owning your own business is wearing anything that you see fit. We have a joke whenever anyone asks what the dress code is we tell them "Fabulous!"; this was one of those times...

This OOTD has many new things in it, things that I need to explain that have crept into my little treasure trove. Mainly my decision to start experimenting with hair extensions as I cringe at the idea of a ugly stage, another being the beautiful Lychee Bag that I got from my Aunt's company. This sweater,pencil skirt, and laptop bag business look is the least bit boring. I had fun sporting this jewel toned number through Little Tokyo today.

Sweater: Lane Bryant, Printed Tank: Lane Bryant, Stretch Pencil Skirt: Style Inc.,

 Moccasins: Rite Aid, Laptop Bag: Kilus Foundation (custom)

Do you have a favorite outfit for work?

0

Thoughts: I am Creative

"I need to be around someone like you where I can throw ideas around and get some back."

The stress of this whole business plan thing is getting to me. I have days where I have a hard time sleeping or even waking up and getting out of bed. I'm scatter brained, and my thoughts fly everywhere except where they need to be. So far what I could really ask for is focus, that is the main thing I am lacking... But through the days there is always something that just rushes to my head and gives me that sudden struck by lightning feeling: I get an idea and my inspiration comes to me. This is nothing new, this is something that I've learned to harness from my childhood until the adult I am today; this is my creativity.

I can't imagine not being a creative person. It's just a part of who I am and how I do things. Even as I started running my non-profit the value of me was that I could think creatively and beyond the technical jargon and budget to make timeless productions and events. Even now as a struggling fresh out of college grad, I wouldn't have it any other way as this is who I am. There just comes a point where a person cannot be defined by occupation, form of study, or even their upbringing. I'd like to think that creative is a personality trait, a noun, an existing factor in my life that represents me as much as my appearance and gender.


The quote above is a sentence that has been haunting me this entire week. My mentor and friend Grace has been seeing more of me recently and I've been partaking in all sorts of crazy. One of the candid ones is making and designing the cupcakes above. Grace's career as an event designer and florist makes her creative mind work overtime 24/7. Its amazing the things that come out of a few trips around town and some objects laid before her. Granted her job isn't all fun and games, but it's a beautiful kind of crazy, a fulfilling kind of crazy. When all is said and done, isn't this what us creative people strive for?

I've been blogging for just a short while now, but what I can say honestly drives me to this type of community are the amazing creative individuals that are found on this corner of the internet. Be it OOTDs, Baking, drawing, or even Crafting; we are a unique breed of creative. Everyone is different in their own way and we don't apologize for it, we celebrate it! This post is to declare this very point: we are creative.

I encourage you to take time out of your day and meditate on the way that your creative mind has changed and set you away from the rest as an individual. You'll be amazed at how profound this simple truth has impacted your life. Surround yourself with creativity and relish in the free amazing gift that life has given you.

0

A Big Girl with an Athletic Friend

Perhaps I'm just lucky, but as a plus bigger girl my social life has never missed a beat for it. I go shopping, do cocktail parties, and whatever other outings fall in between. I also owe it to the fact that I have wonderful friends. This blog is dedicated to my childhood friend Candice, and our relationship as it has grown through the years. It also happens to be her birthday today, and we spent the weekend doing little things to celebrate her turning 28! We did a little shopping at Macy's which explains the pictures below.

 A little bit of how we know each other: we've known each other since Kindergarten, but we had a falling out around the age of 10 when I moved to public school. I found her again give or take 5 years ago as I was getting some fabric, she was the general manager. I also found out that the house that I had moved into at the time was on the same block, so we got into the habit of walking everyday together.  I've moved away to the current house I'm in now, but we still see each other when we can. Her current hobby is running, and I'm proud to say that she completed her first 5k/obstacle course last year. She's also an archer and her family breeds and trains hunting Labradors. The reason why I'm telling you all this is to show how very different we are. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Trust me, this didn't happen over night. We've worked out together, dieted together, binged together, and have gotten into plenty of fights about weight and lifestyle. I can't even really say that I've been there for her on her running journey; because I just can't relate. Just as much as she finds it difficult to understand that I have to fight a bit harder and be a bit tougher as a larger woman in the arts industry. The one thing that binds us together is that we want the best for each other, because we love who each of us has grown up to be. Other than the desire to travel and paint the town red, the only thing that binds us are our years of being together.

Recently, I've noticed Candice standing up for me and my weight. We were in a discussion with someone where they made a comment about me being on the verge of diabetes because of the way I looked. Politely, Candice did me the favor of mentioning how light of an eater I really am and confessed that she was the sweet tooth of the bunch. It was a subtle gesture but I really appreciated it. I'm so sick and tired of being the one that people pick on when they have issues with themselves because I'm an easy target due to appearance. I don't feel like I have a need to really defend the weight that I am or be ashamed because I'm a different from the rest. I eat healthy and I exercise daily, but my body doesn't quite work like everyone else. It helps to have friends of different walks of life than me that understand this. Because when it comes down to it, we're both still young women chipping their path into this world. This fact alone is why we need as much support as we can get! As I mentioned it doesn't happen over night, but when you do have that balance and it's golden.

Never apologize for who you are, there is strength in variety. I hope that sharing my relationship with Candice inspires you and help if your struggling with acceptance of who you are in your friend circles. Because there is too much pain in this world to be hurting the people we care about.

2

Thanksgiving!: OOTD and Blessings

I hope that everyone is having a wonderful Thanksgiving! So far this Holiday has been a wonderful time to spend with family and catch up with each other. I just finished a quiet Lunch/Dinner with my family.  This Thanksgiving has been slightly different for me as this is the first in a long time that I haven't had to worry about finals. The college I attended gave us a two day break, but plenty of homework to take home. It was liberating to wake up and enjoy the day and savor every moment of it.  

This year I dressed up nice by sheer fluke. I got this top at the outlets on my Mini Holiday, and it just seemed to fit in perfectly with the fall colors.

 Butterfly Headpiece: Michaels, Necklace: Gift from Mom, Watercolor Top: Lane Bryant Outlet, Slacks: Lane Bryant, Wedges: Dr. Scholls 

 I also found the butterfly yesterday browsing for a new ball of yarn. I love the large headpiece look on my growing out bob. I'll be sure to do similar looks in that style.

Eugene also surprised me coming over in his Linen Suit. I love that suit on him, it just seems to be formal enough; but a touch casual enough for his hair. I couldn't resist taking pictures of his OOTD. Doesn't he look handsome?

Our family usually digs into the dinner first; then we get the occasional visit from relatives and friends through the day. Today felt special in the sense that it was magical. I felt like today marked a point in my life where I could actually look back and say that I had conquered over my hardships from the past. I stand a little taller because of today.

I've been saving up my 25 days of blessings and I've rolled them into a 25 summarized list. Here they are in no particular order:

Hope: With hope there is a future. I never want to lose sight this simple powerful truth. Love: With love we are all able to grow and move forward in this life we have. With love we are all humbled and graced. Family: Though parts of us are broken, we have a strength that comes from our unity.I miss them when they are gone, as they miss me. Graduate: I haven't felt like this for 5 years! I can celebrate Thanksgiving without the worry of finals. I also have a tool that will help me in my future.I can finally say it; I carry my Bachelors.Talent:Where would I find the drive to continue without it? I'm blessed with creative talent. I know that this is a gift and should not be used to harm or offend. 

Home: I have a beautiful home with a beautiful Study and a Sublime Bedroom. Not many have that. When I wake up in my bed every morning, or read a book on my couch, I know that I have something that I should never take for granted. Books: To relax, to learn, to retreat; all in one books are a beautiful thing that I am so grateful is apart of my life.Meditation: A solace when I can discover things I've buried in my sub conscience. I feel more like a person again and I never want to look back. Despereaux: Two years ago my dreams of owning a Schnauzer puppy came part true with a little mut. Since then the other parts of him have given me a peace and companionship that only his little Chizer self could fill. Eugene: Best friend, trouble, and partner. I love him more than can be contained in words. Ad we come up on a decade of our relationship I dwell in the joy that I grew up with this boy thats now a gentleman.

Tea: A brew that can grow with my ever changing pallete, reflect my mood, and bring back memories. There's a tea for everything, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Inspiration: That looming child you never chase but always wait to return. The relationship with an artist and their inspiration is something that is best experienced rather than explained. Blog: My life has changed because of writing a bit about my life daily. I get to keep it like a scrapbook when I'm feeling blue, and a way to share my interest with the wonderful people of the world. Writing: Writing has given me a passport to something beyond me. I am so blessed to say that I'm a writer, much like one is proud of being a mother to a child. Opportunity: I can't seem to get my fill with opportunity this year. With all the friends, business proposals, and jobs, I am truly blessed.

Transportation: Be it my Scion or Eugene's Yaris, I love my fill of daily travel. This is a daily thing I don't want to ever be without. Adventure: Big or small, I love my fill of exploration and the stories that come with it. Azure Lorica: I have grown up with my non-profit. I love that I have a haven where I can truly apply everything that I love doing into one production. I've also made some incredible friends this past year because of my company. The brainchild of Eugene and I, I couldn't be more proud of 'bringing Theatre back to Family'. Friendship: To the ones I've lost and the ones I've gained. They are what helps me shape and color this beautiful life. I'm so grateful for the color friends that I have that chase their dreams and never let go. Abundance: I have been given more than a humble life. When things come from God, they seem to be poured out over me. I will never take this for granted.

Faith: My faith in God has kept me alive and thriving. I feel safe knowing that there is someone out there bigger than me and the problems I have. Revive: Like a phoenix I have the blessing to be able to restart and try again. I love that my life comes in chapters and that there is always a place for reinvention ones self. Discovery: Learning new things about the world we live in is a blessing. This is what nurtures my growth and makes me aware. Lately the greatest discovery has been myself. I am coming to terms with who I am. Health: I'm blessed to be healthy and at an age where I can learn how to care for myself. This truth is powerful. Pilgrimage: What would a life be without a journey? I'm blessed with the pilgramage that I currently face in my life. I carry in my heart the ones of the past and I look forward to the many more to come.

 Have a blessed Thanksgiving everyone!

0

Lane Bryant Late Summer Haul

It's that lovely time of year in SoCal where the Summer clothing goes on sale to make room for the Fall.  The great thing about this is that Summer weather lingers well into late October like it is this year. Another bonus is it never gets all that cold (other than the occasional hail storms) and you can wear just about anything with a good coat or sweater. I went on a haul with a coupon in hand and got some really good finds! I figured it's about time I do this post since I've already done two OOTD with this haul. You can see those here and here.

Here's what I got:

I love this top as it's sheer in the back for those extra sticky hot days here. I've been wanting one of these but could never find anything tasteful in my size. Clever Lane Bryant only made the back sheer with a super light cotton in the front. I adore the screen print with has half dots in gold glitter under it. I'm totally rocking this to the Tea Festival as the hot weather is slightly picking again.

 I found a Seven dress at such an affordable price! I was so shocked! I've been looking for good versatile dresses lately as I carry alot of light sweater and over vests in my wardrobe. I love this because it's so hard to find a long cotton dress. I also love that the stripes are subtle and go with almost everything.

I call this my Echoing Green shirt! The artwork on it looks like something that would have been on their early 90s albums. I love the way everything is grey-scaled and the flowers just pop it to life.  Charcoal Grey is also my absolute favorite color and it's so hard to find nice shirts in that hue.

I love this tank because it has this slight shark bite taper and it's long. This will be so great to rock with leggings. I also love the little bit of glitter on it so I can sport it with some of my pop or rockability looks.  The blue stripes are also a beautiful shade.

This shirt is so soft and relaxing. I just loved the way that the sleeves slouched on my arms to give it a great curvy look with the boyfriend shirt appeal. This shirt also has these pretty stripes with a bit of metallic silver thread spun in it. It's so easy to dress it up or down. The screen print just adds the right amount of texture to dress up or down the accessories. 

Isn't this the coolest shade for a chunky sweater? I really love that fire red orange tone that goes great with any neutral shade! It's also rare to find a chunky quarter sleeve sweater as well, and it falls just above my waist so that I can wear it with a short dress or skirt without killing the lines of an outfit.

I was a couple of dollars short from my coupon working so I got this nail polish in the color of 'Morning Dove'. I'm so glad I did! This nail polish goes on super thick and only needs one coat. It dries fast and is very flexible resisting chipping. Their nail polish all have a super shine metalic finish. It's really playful!

I'll be having fun with these finds, so expect to see more of them. Happy shopping everyone!
-Stef

0

OOTD: Ramona High

 

I love my job! I hope that one day my job as a CEO of a non-profit will become a full time and not seasonal career. We're coming up on our 3rd year which means we're finally eligible for grants, which in turns means our operations staff can finally have a chance at a regular stipend paycheck. It take plenty of love, self abandonment, and risk taking; and its been worth every heartache. It completes me, gives me that fast life I wanted, places to see, art to crack open from their shells.

Sunglasses: Lane Bryant, Necklace: Miscellanous Creation,
Sweater: Coldwater Creek, Shoes: TJ Maxx

I've become comfortable being a public speaker. I used to be conscience because of my weight, but when I started to do it more, I realized that people want to listen to what I have to say. Since then I look forward to when I can spread the word about my organization and my experience. I love the fact that I can give the future leaders a helping hand. I also feel like me in the right clothes puts a positive face to body image and confidence that they need to hear. I was tickled pink when I had the privilege to go to Ramona High School.

Ramona High is a private all girls catholic school. I didn't speak at this event, but Eugene and I brought a booth to represent my company. The assembly was created to honor girls that have done over 100 hours of volunteer service this year. That's a big deal! In a world thats lacking awareness and humanity, it's good to know there are the few that are willing to get out there and lend a hand. They had introduced the organizations there and allowed them to visit and talk with them like a mini volunteer fair. The girls had even created presentations of previous charities and clubs they helped at.

We were welcomed with open arms! I was so honored and humbled by these willing beautiful ladies. We got an ample amount of volunteers and good feedback. It's these events that give me that extra assurance that my mission is one that people need and are indeed listening to. My cause brings smiles, public conversation, and a haven for people to take a chance and be apart of something bigger than themselves.

So to all of those struggling with you're self image, keep in mind that there is more to you. Don't punish the world with your insecurities, there's a beautiful character waiting to be introduced. These girls are in the prime of insecurities: high school, and I cannot even imagine judging their willingness based on their inner securities. It's tough to fight your fears, but to live with it is far worse. Goodness knows if I let my fears guide me, I wouldn't be the bold role model I was blessed to become. Live your life, be you, be strong.
-Stef

0

OOTD: A Scarf of Acceptance- Spirit Day

I want you to humor me for a minute: I want you to think of the world as a better place, a place where everyone believes in the hope of mankind and a better tomorrow. Think of the endless 'good days' and the support when the world goes grim. Sound familiar? I hope so, thats what YOUR world is.

Yes thats right, the world according to you and only you. You wear what you want, your thoughts are your own. Everyone at one point in their lives have been gifted with pure untouched liberation. The gaining of a new friend, advice from a loved one, the feeling of new love. Perhaps it was the feeling when you found something you swore hit home, different from anything you knew. Perhaps a book, a clothing style, or a lifestyle that was never introduced to you.

To me, this is what Spirit Day is all about. Spirit Day is where the world over wears purple on October 19th to support homosexual rights. You don't have to be gay to join in this, all you have to do is wear purple and support. To me this holiday means beyond sexual preference, it's the understanding of giving people that right to be themselves. Regardless of my religious views or lifestyle choices, I believe that everyone has the right to make up their mind on what they want to be, who they date, or what they wear. I think our world could change with love and acceptance, because diversity is what makes this world so interesting.

As a big girl I suffered being bullied, from family and peers. I was taught to be ashamed of what I was, I was taught to take diet pills before I hit the age of 10, and I was told that no one would marry me because of my size and my looks were a waste because of it. I grew up, learned they were wrong through plenty of hard lessons, and have come to a point where I accept who I am.

When I started to have gay friends as I got older, I realized that they suffered the way that I had. They were taught to be ashamed of themselves, they were taught to change or never feel love. I think this is a real shame, as they are some of the most responsible beautiful people I've ever known. It's through these trials of life that their eyes can see the beauty in everything, and accept imperfections as uniqueness.

I wear purple today because I get where they're coming from. I wear it because I want to show them that I accept and care for them as they are. I wear purple to show the rest of the world that love and acceptance is what I believe in.

Glasses: Claire's, Earrings: Walmart, Scarf: Old Navy, Linen Blazer: Lane Bryant, Shirt: Lane Bryant, Skinny Jeans: Lane Bryant, Wedges: Dr. Scholls

Happy Spirit Day everyone! Thank you all of you unsung beautiful friends that love me as I am, this is the least I can do to share my appreciation.
-Stef

0