Overcoming my fear of personalbility.


Last week, I joined some of you on Miss Mary Lu's channel in a live stream. I answered some questions and listened to your opinions on things to make the Tea Spectral store grow. I was also completely terrified. Finally, the public could see the face behind my brand.

I've shown my face on this blog, with press conferences with Azure Lorica, and have even been on local television and radio on a few occasions. So why was I so scared to go live and meet some of you? It may sound silly now, but the honest answer to this question was a fear of judgement.

Yes, the thing that invites the trolling internet to your door step from under their bridges. I was (for the most part) in a bubble of bliss online with my general content. I steered away from that sort of negativity, and did for quite some time. After the fiasco of my anime convention, Ninja-Con, taking a nose dive a good handful of the internet community, which then went on a witch hunt after me. I didn't want to participate with the drama, and chose to go MIA.

I deleted most of my social media accounts.

Fast forward to about three years later: I decided to finally pursue my dreams of creating a tea company. My blends and photos on the ingredients were going to speak for me, creating the 'face' of the brand. It's been about a year since that launch, in April 2018, and the teas have been received well. Tea Spectral, overall has grown to be such a positive success in the time that it has been running.

As if life decided to pull a trick on me, the people that I met online to do business with were, for the majority, pleasant individuals. In the year that I worked hard doing what I love I had created the internet community opposite to the one I had experienced. Influencers, bloggers, press, and customers: these titles all distilled to a pure truth: that they were looking for exactly what I was. We were all looking for the positive in the mundane. We had desired to bring good into the vast monster that digital communication had become.

Cue Mary Lu: Whom I met for the first time at Azure Lorica's Fan Film Awards. After watching some of her YouTube Positivitea Podcasts I decided she was a great fit to invite as a guest speaker. Anti-bullying has always been the underlying theme of this festival, showing the humanity in superheroes that we looked up to. We wanted to drive this home to the community, and a spoonful of Positivitea was just the right flavor. We talked casually. After knowing Mary for a bit now, I realize the beauty of her, as a person, is that desire to connect to people on a heartfelt level. Though I was unaware, the seed was planted.

A couple of months later, she did not hesitate at the idea of her merchandise handled by Tea Spectral. I gratefully accepted and we got to work. I fought my insecurities the whole way through the process, as the momentum triggered my flashbacks from working at Ninja-con. Working with someone as loving as Mary acted as a healing process, pulling me farther away from my fears and self-doubt. In this space that we created, we both thrived.

The Tea Time Fam Collection sold out in 9 hours of it's launch. Then the second batch sold out in 10 days. We were not expecting the power of this community that we belonged to. All of you responded with in such a resounding supportive strength that blew us away. The feedback was overwhelming, I knew then that something had to be done. I had to, at the very least say, thank you to all of you in the most sincere way that I could. So I asked Mary if I could join her in one of her live streams to say thank you.

That Sunday, I exposed myself to the world: I was the face of Tea Spectral. After this, I knew I could no longer hide. Half way through that stream, I realized that I no longer had to. Why wouldn't I want to say hello to all of you? To listen to you and thank you? To share my thoughts and opinions with you in a constructive manner. At the end of it all, it's the community you chose. In turn, you carry the responsibility to nurture that community as well.

With that being said:

Hello, please call me Stef. I am the Tea Hauntier. This blog used to be called Tea Spectral, but that name has since grown into the brand of my beloved tea company. I look forward to sharing more of my thoughts and opinions with you. Thank you so much for breathing courage into me again. I have found my voice once more.

Cheers!


For those of you who did not catch my live stream with Miss Mary Lu, here is the recorded video:

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